Experiment 205-Rocket Attack USA

Tags

Arthur Metrano, b movies, Barry Mahon, cold war, Cuban Rebel Girls, Cy Roth, Errol Flynn, Fidel Castro, John McKay, Monica Davis, mst3k, SOL, TV Stars

“May I verify your papers?”

I have been enjoying the ‘essays’ the last few movies have inspired in me. While I would like to approach every movie with the idea of getting a 500-750 piece, some movies just do not move me enough to type out a semi-coherent piece.

When I am watching movies like Rocket Attack USA with a narrator who has more dialogue than any of the on screen talent, it makes me realize how hard scriptwriting must be. There is an idea, with a beginning, middle and end. Yet there doesn’t seem to be a thought of how to let the characters and situation tell the story. The narrator tells us John (John McKay) Manston is nervous inside. Nothing shows us these nerves. The lines are delivered like any generic agent, with no spirit.

Manufacturing stock footage! It is a different kind of stock footage for us.

The Soviet meetings, why bother having the actors speak in Russian if a narrator talks over them? I get subtitles were probably not in the budget, but it seems like a waste to cover up the dialogue.

I have often heard this referred to as a ‘quickie’ but cannot find anything about the time frame it was made in. With the animation, primitive as it is, how quick could it have been made?

IMDB has two different release dates: 1958 and 1961. Could the company have been trying to cash in on both Sputnik and the Bay of Pigs? Both are high tension years of the cold war.

Tanya (Monica Davis) would later to go on to play such characters as “First Swinging Wife” in several 1960’s nearpronos.

Am I the only one who thinks the movie was originally supposed to end with Manston and Tanya’s failure? The third act, other than the general, is out of the blue. They needed another 20 minutes to even be considered a film. This is Cy Roth level padding.

Our truck driver without a tie is without a doubt the most successful actor to come out of this film. Arthur Metrano had 112 IMDB credits ahead of him. Including MST3K referenced series: Mod Squad, Mannix, Then Came Bronson, Adam-12, Laugh-In, That Girl, Love American Style, Toma (and Barretta), Kolchak and The Streets of San Francisco.

This was not Director Barry Mahon’s first ‘political’ film. In 1959, Mahon directed Errol Flynn’s final on screen performance in Cuban Rebel Girls aka Assault of the Rebel Girls. Errol wrote this pro-Castro film (Castro was still playing the am I or ain’t I a red game) made with the help and input of Fidel’s forces, it is an interesting historical piece.

Director Mahon started out as the personal pilot for Errol Flynn, before later becoming his manager.

Watchability: 1 of 5. Who do you blame?  Everyone! Writer, Director, Actor, Lighting, Music Director, Location Scout.  There were a few surprising twist: the American agent failing, the use of Russian dialogue. But there is so little working right in this movie. Another plot underdone by being under thought.

Missing the Riffs: 1 of 5. This movie deserved the riffing it received. A poorly made movie up and down was perfect for the SOL.

Experiment 820-Space Mutiny

Tags

b movies, Battlestar Galactica 1978, Cameron Mitchell, Cissy Cameron, David Ryder, Ed Wood, Foreign, John Phillip Law, No location scout, Reb Brown, Republic Serials, Reused footage, Satellite of Love (Mystery Science Theater 3000), Sequel Set up, SOL, South African, Space Opera, Stock Footage, TV Stars

“Can a woman buy a man a drink in your galaxy?”

In honor of this experiment reaching 400 laughs at Club-MST3k, I think this movie deserves an unriffed viewing.  400 laughs makes it the most laughed episode at the club, far and away the most laughed.  I think I would place the episode in my top 50, but probably not my top 25.

Reb (David Ryder) Brown and Cissy (Dr. Lea Jansen) Cameron have been married since 1979.

The credits remind me of the visual from the FVI films the SOL watched, but these are on purpose.

I don’t understand why this movie is ‘introducing’ Cissy Cameron, she has IMDB credits going back to 1971.  She was a regular in a Ted Knight sitcom, back when that meant something.  How can you introduce someone with 17 years of work behind her?

Battlestar Galactica of 1978 and 1980.  I saw both series, I saw the movie in the theaters.  But I can’t say I was a big fan of it.  I much preferred Buck Rogers for my late 1970’s Sci-Fi.  Had no interest in the more recent series.

I don’t know much about South African cinema in the late 1980’s, but this looks more like a ‘fan film’ than a professional job.  A high quality fan film, but it doesn’t even reach TV movie quality in look.

If these were amateurs, I would praise the creativity of setting up the locations.  An office as the bridge? Generic Industrial building (with windows) as the bowels of the ship?  There had to be better choices, right?

Workout leotards and modified fast food uniforms it what the clothes look like.  Ed Wood would be proud.

The SOL cut out a huge chunk of Battlestar Galactica footage, and related ‘looking very concerned about the battle’ shots of the crew.

Kalgan is not a very subtle villain.  I would think there would be some kind of uproar about all the people going missing.

Of the hundreds and hundreds of plot holes and questions raised, and God knows every frame of this film raises new questions, this is the series which really bugs me: Where was the Professor coming from?  Was he and Ryder just out cruising through space?  Were they investigating a possible planet to colonize?  And they clearly know there are habitable planets out there, the Bellarians had to come from somewhere, right?    You get started on these, and it just opens up dozens more.  And these are the questions the first 10 minutes inspire!

John Phillip Law is really acting hard.  You can just tell.

The Corona Borealis is an actual constellation, also known as the Northern Crown.  So the Southern Sun is flying to the Northern Crown.  Maybe that’s symbolism of some sort.

And they are not even consistent about how they use the Battlestar footage.  In the first scenes, it was moving backwards.  Now it is moving forward.

I know Kalgan is the ‘villain’ of the piece, but is he really?  He wants to get everyone off the ship and on to a planet.  I can’t say I approve of his methods, but Commander Jansen (Cameron Mitchell) might be wrong on this on.

Future dancing looks stupider than today dancing.  Hula hoops?  Rings are cool, I mean not cool.

Top Classified Secret!  Doesn’t get much more secreter than that.

Who are they going to call for help?  No, no, can’t ask more questions.  It will just hurt.

Wow, they actually let the Chief Engineer, who is in on the mutiny, in on the plan to stop the mutiny.

Very thankfully, there is no more to the garden ‘love scene’.  Right on the line.

I still don’t get what the whole Bellarian thing is supposed to be about.  I suppose it is vaguely sexy padding, but is so disconnected from the rest of the movie.

The big battle with the pirates runs longer, and reuses footage not only from Battlestar, but from Ryder’s crash at the start of the movie.  This is Republic Serial level of reuse!

Was there no attempt to round up the mutineers after they were identified?  Did they just have a party and, no, can’t ask questions.

Can a fist fight be described as wooden?

This movie is really icky when it tries to be sexy.

So the entire Enforcer staff is both corruptible and incompetent?  Seriously, one guy comes aboard and kills, maims or otherwise disables the entire defense force the Southern Sun had.

Space Bitch!  Kalgan actually says Space Bitch.  It is Rocky Jones After Dark.

Many of the kills in this movie are based on the fact no one seems to react to shots fired and bodies dropping to the floor.

And isn’t his a fight to the death kind of thing for the mutineers?  I mean where can they go after rising up against the Commander?  They are still just stuck on a space, you know what, no more questions.

The SOL cut the Engineer flailing around the floor on fire.  He burns up real good in the full cut.

I don’t think they missed a cliché in this movie.  It is like they had a checklist.

Watchability: 3 of 5.  I’ve changed my mind a dozen times on this already.  What blows my mind is how much the SOL crew didn’t go after in this movie.  When I say this movie makes me think of Ed Wood, that is a good thing.

Missing the Riffs: 3 of 5.  It is one of those movies that doesn’t need the SOL to be enjoyable.  Of course, your mileage may vary.

Experiment K10-Cosmic Princess (Space: 1999 The Metamorph and Space Warp)

Tags

Barbara Bain, Brian Blessed, British, Episode K10, Foreign, Gerry Anderson, KTMA, Martin Landau, Monster Suits, mst3k, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Satellite of Love (Mystery Science Theater 3000), Season 0, Space: 1999, Sylvia Anderson, TV Movie, TV Stars

“What is Directive Four?”

Like many Msties, I’m not very familiar with Season 0.  Now, with the Internet and all, the very humble origins of the Satellite of Love are available to be viewed.  I had known the show started out on local TV, but never had any idea I would ever see them.

I’ve not seen all the KTMA’s available—K04 (Gamera vs Barugon) through K11 (Humanoid Woman) is the limit of my experience—and K10 is the only one I’ve seen multiple times.  Rough with some moments of brilliance sprinkled, this is what I take away from the KTMA episodes.

Space: 1999 I’m even less familiar with.  Other than watching K10, I probably haven’t watched an episode of Space: 1999 for 30 or so years.  I made the decision on that show a long time ago.  I thought it was boring and absurd all at the same time.  I love absurd, but if you can make it boring, that’s something else.  I saw plenty of Mission: Impossible reruns as a kid, and even Landau and Bain couldn’t make me stay with it.

Cosmic Princess is two episodes of the second series smashed together to resemble a movie.  The only tie, from what I gather, is the character Maya plays a big part in both of them.

Space: 1999 was the last series of Gerry and Sylvia Anderson of Thunderbirds fame.  It was once the most expensive British TV series of all time, which makes me cry a little seeing the effects here.

I had to read a bit about the show, just in case I couldn’t follow the plot.  The series was renewed at the last minute, and was undergoing many stylistic and production changes.  The introduction of Maya, per Wikipedia at least, was supposed to be a character to help ratings in the United States.  So, I guess she is an alien version of Cousin Oliver.

Season 2 Episode 1: The Metamorph

Maya is 3^rd billed after Martin and Barbara.  Actually, the only other person shown or named in the credits.  Wow, they really were banking on her.

This is the mid-1970s and the sets look shoddier than original series Star Trek.  The ‘space chase’ looked like it went past the same Xmas lights a couple times.

Brian Blessed’s hair is much more impressive with a crisper picture.

Maya looks like she’s dressed for the skating long program.  Maya appears earlier in the episode than she does in the movie.  Their interaction reminds me of Captain Santa Claus and his daughter in Space Mutiny.

Nice spaceship graveyard shot.

I wonder if losing an Eagle was like Mannix getting shot.  Just had to happen once an episode.  The Eagles are a pretty iconic ship, much better than the series it comes from.

The big computer sucking in everyone’s soul reminds me of Willy Wonka’s fizzy lifting drink machine.

The alien ‘slaves’ are pathetic.  Arms aren’t painted, very little in terms of prosthetics.  These make-up artist wouldn’t last very long on Face Off.

Again, I’m not that familiar with the series, but the sets and colors scream 1965 at me, not 1975.  It is like they took everything decent about ST: OS and sucked the life out of it.  It even feels like Martin Landau is doing a less hammy Kirk.

So, knowing what I know about Psyche (the computer) and the nutjob that is Mentor, why should I think Maya is anything more than the what the Psychon Guards are—animated matter.  Why should she be flesh and blood when nothing else is on the planet?

I think they are using Tupperware in the Psychon prison.

Another movie/show where it was cheaper to use a cutout of the moon rather than something more real looking—like film of the moon.  I think we had those in the 1970s.

Why would an alien turn into Earth animals?  Wouldn’t she become, I don’t know, something alien?

HO scale moon.  Only Godzilla is usually that deadly against models.

Nice gorilla suit Maya!

And middle school science experiments explode all over the planet.

Must. Simulate. Gravity’s. Pull.

Wow, and I’ve got another one of these?

Season 2 Episode 12: Space Warp

I have seen Space Warp listed as episode 15 in some guides, but it is episode 12 on Hulu, so that’s what I’m calling it.

Apparently space warps and wormholes were common plot devices in Space: 1999.

This episode ‘happens’ almost a year after episode 1.  Maya is now the science officer, not just a freaky chick they picked up hours ago.  And she is apparently involved with Tony Verdeschi, the man Captain Koenig gets left behind with.

Wouldn’t it make more sense if the Eagle was sucked through the space warp?  A whole moon getting sucked through, and the ship not really being affected?  It is easier to believe in a shape shifting alien changing into Earth creatures.

The more and more the characters keep saying “Space Warp” the more ridiculous it sounds.

Two episodes and Barbara Bain has been crying like mad in both of them.  Come on, I expect more from Cinnamon Carter.

So, is this creature Maya’s true form?  Or is it a testament to how few good ideas the Space: 1999 team had.  This is not a well thought out or well executed make up.

I do have to say, there are some good models of the moon base shown.  I guess that’s where the money went.

When all else fails, just start cutting, right?  So, Barbara Bain says she knows nothing, repeat, nothing about this species, but she knows it is dying and knows she must operate?  Instant expert I guess.  Thankfully, no surgery, just a great Brian Blessed return, but with slightly less impressive hair coloring.

The one-eye thing Maya turns into, best creature I’ve seen in these two episodes.

Unsurprisingly, the alien record found by Landau has no mention about Mentor or Psychon.  It is, still conveniently an explanation of how to jump space warps.  Again, pushes believability way too far, solutions in this series just seem very convenient.  More an element of luck than any skill or planning.

What’s the difference between the Moon Base Alpha dune buggy and the Banana Splits’ dune buggies?  Dignity.

The last thing Martin Landau and Barbara Bain did together?  Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan’s Island.  The last of the reunion movies.

Watchability: 1 of 5.  I just find this series to be dull and nonsensical.  Subpar effects and make up.  Just not a lot here I find appealing.

Missing the Riffs: 4 of 5.  I am so glad the crew only watched 1 of these Space: 1999 combo movies.  This was a gut punch of boredom.  Riffing is much needed.

Short 109SB-Radar Men From the Moon, Chapter 8: The Enemy Planet

Tags

b movies, Commando Cody, mst3k, MST3K Shorts, Republic Serials, Stock Footage, Superheroes, TV Stars

Hey, a new character!

It doesn’t seem like there are that many people deserving a credit.

Graber and Daly, what mugs.

You would think a doomsday weapon would be more moveable.  Again, if these thugs could do the ‘right’ thing and just kill Cody, we could be done with this story chapters ago.

Remember when going to the moon, wait, I think I used that joke before.  Again, why the serials had to disappear.  Too repetitive.  The launch scene in this chapter is one of the better effect sequences in the serial.

Wouldn’t rockets from Earth be super easy to detect?  It wasn’t like there were daily shuttles or anything like that.

Yep, very lucky break the one single moon man we see knows everything you need to know Cody.  I know coincidence is the driving force behind most “kid” fiction, but this pushes even beyond that level of believability.

Is shooting a door holding dangerous materials really all that wise?

The recycled tank from Undersea Kingdom!  It never gets its due for multiple MST3K appearances.

So, knowing the budgets, I bet this is footage of the tank chasing itself.

Busted airline?  Attacking Tank?  An amateur in Cody’s helmet?  How will this turn out?

Watchability: 3 of 5.  Not bad, this chapter had a change in formula, made it seem fresher.  Well-paced and decent action.  One of the best chapters so far.

Missing the Riffs: 4 of 5.  The riffing was definitely getting weaker by this point in the serial.

Experiment 208-Lost Continent

Tags

Adventure, Cesar Romero, Chick Chandler, Dinosaur Movies, Giant Lizards, Hugh Beaumont, Lost Continent, Padding, Paul Dunlap, Quest, Robert Lippert, rock climb, Rock Climbing, Samuel Newfield, Sid Melton, Sigmund Neufeld, Syfy, TV Stars

“But I got news for you: I walk around with my guts twisted up same as you.”

This is one of my favorite MST3K episodes, I am really looking forward of my first unriffed viewing of this movie.

This is, by SOL standards, an outstanding cast.  You could do worse for an ensemble cast.  This is a quest movie, not an action/sci-fi movie.

This movie took footage from Rocketship X-M.  And Robot Monster took footage from Lost Continent.  There is almost something circle of lifeish about all that.

Lots of little cuts, Dean-O had a line dropped, for example.

I get the intent of the vignettes when the military team is summoned.  We’re trying to build interest, a connection with our heroes.  As far as it goes, it does the trick, mayhaps it does end up feeling a wee bit forced.  It is better than the usual batch of exposition we are subjected to, and does make Cesar Romero, Chick Chandler and Sid Melton stand out more as characters.

There is nothing in the full version that explains the “Dame said she voted” line.  It is just one of those mysteries we will never understand.

Sam Newfield and Sigmund Neufeld ARE brothers!

There is an exchange between Cesar Romero’s Major Nolan and John Hoyt’s Dr. Rostov which sows the seeds of suspicion Nolan expresses later.  It is our first mention of ‘unpredictables’.

Were plane crashes more survivable back in the day?  This seems to be a common plot device in the 30’s to 50’s.

Not to read too much into this movie, but the military trio and scientist trio kind of reflect each other.

This is a link to a great interview with Paul Dunlap (the tire magnate) who did the score for Lost Continent.  Thanks to Mike F at Club-MST3K for sharing with the group a few months ago.  http://www.mania.com/i-composer-for-teenage-werewolf_article_52182.html

Knowing what they were actually climbing on the same pieces over and over is a triumph of editing, that they could get that much out of that little.

Speaking of, how much rock climbing is there in this movie?  Let’s find out.  This is just time for Climbing.  Not camping or falling or resting.  Only counting vertical movement.  Starting with Cesar’s first steps on to the base of the rocks at 28:20 (with a short break from 28:43 to 28:58).  Let us find out.

This crew is really too nicely dressed to go adventuring.

Break at 33:38.  Starting again at 34:24.  After Cesar is gassed, the last member of the team stops climbing at 35:17, with a restart at 36:00. Stop at 36:11 for camp.

Then more background.  They really should have known better than to send the little guy.

The ‘giant’ lizard Rostov sees would make more sense if it looked like the creatures in the jungle.  It’s just a silly little lizard.

Back at it at 38:52!  The “Stay with me, baby” line of Sid Melton comes after nearly 3 minutes of no dialogue.  The weak guy falls and everyone stops moving at 43:48.  44:20, we are moving.

Would you want to make the Mannix jump after the little guy fell?  NWB, no way baby.

Wow, when they reach the “lost world”, the film changes to a green tint.  Does give it an unearthly glow, but makes me think radioactive not “jungle world”.   They look like Hulkettes.  Just does not look good, I think it would have been better if they had just stayed black and white.  The last member climbs onto the plateau at 48:11.

Then climbing turns into walking, no one ever mentions that.

To Maj. Nolan’s credit, he was wrong, he apologized.  He’s not jaded like Lt. Wilson.

Of all the unnecessary things in this movie, Sid Melton’s wet dream about the plane is the most unnecessary.

I’m not counting the rush to save Ward from the dinosaurs as ‘rock climbing’, though I probably could with no arguments.

I have to believe in my heart of hearts the dinosaur sequences are stolen from somewhere, but maybe this is the 1950’s equivalent of SyFy Channel CGI.  Cheap and bloody.

And Rostov offers Nelson a cigarette.  He is the bigger man too.

All forms of Lippert padding on display in this movie.

Again, not counting the ‘looking for the rocket’ as rock climbing, even though, I could get away with it.

They couldn’t even get the dangerous dinosaurs.  Ok, one kills Sid Melton, but that’s not like a crime or anything.  The SOL cut out his dying words and final cigarette.  And the poetic thing is: Cesar’s Zippo goes out before he can lite the cig.  Ain’t that a thing?  Christian Burial and everything, so there was a mourning period—shame on you Brains!

1:17:07 we start down!  Break at 1:18:23.  With the run down the mountain starting at 1:19:16 finally hitting the flat ground at 1:21:15!

By my definition of Rock Climbing there is a total of 18 minutes and 9 seconds of rock climbing in a 84 minute movie. There are 3 sequences of over 3 minutes 45 seconds, with the longest being 4 minutes 56 seconds.

Watchability: 4 of 5.  Don’t look at this as Sci-Fi, it is an adventure movie.  Instead of the Ark or King Solomon’s Mines, they are looking for a rocket.  Professional cast, very good music and overall an enjoyable ride.  I don’t like the Green Tint sequence and wow, Rock Climbing.

Missing the Riffs: 3 of 5. Didn’t miss the riffs as much as I thought I would.  Very enjoyable in either form.

Flavorwire Interview: Joel Hodgson on 25 Years of ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’

Tags

25th Anniversery MST3K, b movies, Flavorwire, interview, Jim Mallon, Joel Hodgson, Joel Robinson, mst3k, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Satellite of Love (Mystery Science Theater 3000), Thanksgiving, TV Stars

A nice interview with Joel. I really enjoy reading/listening to Joel discuss the origins of the show. One day, I will have to see Riffing Myself, the bit I’ve seen at CT shows are outstanding.

Experiment 413-Manhunt in Space

Tags

Cleolanthe, Dukes of Hazzard, Dumb Kids, Hollingsworth Morse, Rocky Jones, Rocky Jones Space Ranger, Sally Mansfield, Scotty Beckett, Space Pirates, TV Stars, Vena Ray, Wesley Crusher, Winky

“It is what I command!”

The Great Hollingsworth Morse directed many TV episodes through the years, including The Dukes of Hazzard and Adam-12.  I had an Adam-12 lunchbox as a kid.  That’s the only reason to bring that up.

Rocky Jones could sing the ‘Hike up the pants’ song.

This is another movie were the rapid fire riffing steps on a great deal of the dialogue.  I don’t think anything ‘important’ was missed, but it is something to keep in mind when on screen conversations don’t make sense.

While not a large budget show by any means, it does look a bit better than its contemporary series Flash Gordon.  Flash may have the heritage, but Rocky has the goods.

One of the things I like about this show is everyone is ‘smart’, even the girls.  Vena got the drop on the first wave of pirates and figured out how to signal Rocky.  Even the villains aren’t dumb, just mislead by evil.

Another ‘kids’ flick, and I think pretty well done for the time.  The science isn’t exactly ‘hard’, but fits with how kids once viewed the world.  It is too earnest for today’s time.  Some of the repetition is also due to the fact these are 3 tv episodes strung together.

A small but important detail cut from the SOL, the stranded Double M (the booby-trapped ship the Space Pirates set up to catch Rocky) fired at the orbit jet.  Also cut was the ‘introduce everyone to Paul’ scene, and yet another crack about Winky being for the ladies.  At the beginning of the 3^rd act, it is revealed that a message from Ophiuchius was intercepted.

It is hard not to see Bobby and not think he might be the seed that grew into Wesley Crusher.  But I don’t know how popular Rocky Jones was at the time.  From what I’ve read it is the format the show was filmed in is the reason for its survival.

Scotty (Winky) Beckett was one of the Our Gang comedy team (he was replaced by Alfalfa), and like all good child stars, was kicked off Rocky Jones for writing bad checks and having a gun battle with Mexican police.  Maurice (Professor Newton) Cass died during the first season.  All we needed was to have Sally (Vena Ray) Mansfield reduced to porn to have a full slate of tragedies.

Patsy (Cleolanthe) Parsons was only around for the first season of Rocky Jones.  I guess after destroying her planet in Crash of the Moons, they couldn’t think of a way to use her.  It is a shame, she really is a great villain.  She must be feared by her people, and the United Planets (or whatever it is called) always takes her seriously.

When Rocky is plotting out where the Space Pirates are operating out of, it is amazing to know they put men in space with the same pencil and paper ‘equipment’.

Rinkman is another great villain.  He is not afraid to try and double-cross Cleolanthe; that takes some noive.

Richard (Rocky Jones) Crane was a regular on Surfside 6, which may or may not mean anything to you.

James (Ken) Griffith also plays a sniveling villain in The Amazing Transparent Man.

Winky’s song doesn’t get any better in the unriffed version.  Were they trying to make him a crossover star or did the producers think the kids were into lullabies.

I don’t really get how 5 guys are going to take over a planet? A station?  What is Casa 7 anyway?  Where are all the people?

About the chalk and sandpaper, my only explanation is Rocky Jones’s coat is like Batman’s utility belt.

For all the guns and warships, they sure do have plenty of fistfights.  The one thing ‘blown up’ was off screen.  Very mindful of the kiddies.  Bring them to justice!

Rocky never directly confronts Cleolanthe in this story arc.

And a Superman cartoon, cool!

Watchability: 4 of 5.  I love these kind of corny serials.  Is it great filmmaking or acting, of course not.  But I love the sincerity in it.  The wholesomeness of everything about the show is great.  They were making something for the kids and they delivered.

Missing the riffs: 3 of 5.  I’m fond enough of Rocky Jones to watch it without the riffing.  I even watch episodes that weren’t riffed.

Experiment 109-Project Moonbase

Tags

B movie, Colonel Briteis, Destination Moon, Moonbase, Project Moonbase, Satellite of Love (Mystery Science Theater 3000), Science not fiction, Sexist Pigs, TV Stars

“Sorry to have gone female on you Major.  I didn’t mean to take advantage of you.”

It’s Dr. Bellows!

Ok, if one can get past the threats of spanking early on, there is a lot to recommend to this movie.  Fast paced, not great effects or sets but an effort to be accurate, and really not a bad story.  Orbit flight goes wrong and becomes the first moon landing, you can work with that story.

Briteis is a great pilot but a so so commander.  That’s true of 100s of people in every industry.  In the ‘reality’ of this movie, anyone who made that first flight would have become a celebrity.  She got control of the ship and landed it in a crisis situation, the mental mathematics needed to pull that off is stellar.

I have to say our foreign agents are some of the most organized and effective villains in MST3K history.

Baseball, been tripping the enemy up since WWII!

Background music and decent models makes space so much better.  Passable job for a low budget film.  They at least created a decent looking command center.  I don’t like the shorts, what gets into some cultures.

Unlike so many of the movies, there aren’t a whole lot of ‘stupid’ decisions made by the characters.  Given the situations, everyone makes fairly solid choices.  Despite her early arrogance, Briteis has the idea about the relays and just doesn’t wither and cry.

It is a very low rent Destination Moon (a favorite of mine) but I can’t say it is really a bad movie.  Dated in many ways, but handled as well or better than expected.

Very little was cut for the SOL viewing.  At just over 60 minutes, not a lot they could cut.  Again, the director gets some credit here, he didn’t add much padding to this movie.

Watchability: 3 of 5.  There is a few winceable lines early on, and maybe Briteis isn’t what we expect from a female hero these days, but overall a decent outing.  The ‘science’ mostly makes sense (mostly) and there aren’t huge gaps in the plot.  Enjoyed this more than I ever expected to.

Missing the Riffs: 3 of 5.  I like the episode more than the general MST3K viewer, at least based on the laughs it has on Club-MST3K.  The SOL crew was still getting the hang of things, so that needs to be considered.  And under loved episode as far as I’m concerned.

Experiment 313-Earth vs. Spider

Tags

Bert I Gordon, Black Scorpion, Gene Roth, Giant Bugs, Horror of Party Beach, June Kenney, Merrit Stone, Puppet People, Sally Fraser, TV Stars

“You know what we eggheads are like Sherriff: We want to know why this, how come that, what about the other?”

It is Merrit Stone!  And Jack Kosslyn and Gene Roth: The Bert I Gordon All-Stars!  Gene Roth was a regular in the Three Stooges shorts.

I just can’t get enough of 20+ year old high schoolers.  At least Frankie and Annette were in college.

Fred Ziffel and Wally Plumstead are the biggest stars in this film (Hugo the janitor and the ultra-hep bass player).

One thing I like about this movie is the pace.  Too often in b-movies, there are these long breaks in action either by the monster or those responding to the threat.  (Think about Horror of Party Beach, how many people are killed before they really go after the creatures).  Here, once the spider started roaming outside the cave, it didn’t stay unknown for long.  And the actions taken to stop the spider are quick and logical.  Ok, the decision to go back for the damn bracelet by the teens is stupid, but they are movie teens after all.

Pretty good model for the dead father.

Cut for the SOL, a bit of the DDT applying sequence.  I suppose it was just padding, but it did create some tension prior to the spider attack on the deputy.  There is also a bit cut out of the beginning of the scene were the glasses guy is knocked down by the ‘dead’ spider.  It is apparently the camera/art clubs using the ‘dead’ spider as a model.  I don’t think I could be that casual around a huge spider, even if it was dead.  I’m terrorized by those beast in reality, I supposes that’s why I like seeing the monster ones meet their ends.

As far as Bert I’s process shots, this is one of the better executed ones.  Handling one spider is a lot easier than a swarm of grasshoppers.  There are some very effective scenes blending the spider and reality.  Some very good panic shots when the spider is moving through town.  The static spider at the house isn’t very good, and neither is the leg that reaches into the house.  The ‘chase’ up the road, where the teach hides behind his car for less than a moment, had some of the same issues The Black Scorpion.

The shameless self-promotion scene is my favorite.  Something about Puppet People, sounds kind of wild.

Sally (Mrs Kingman) Fraser has three MST3K films on her resume: this, It Conquered the World and War of the Colossal Beast.  June (Carol) Kenney was also in Viking Women and Bloodlust.  Gene Roth, of course, is the sheriff of everywhere.

Yeah, why does a ‘rock’ group need a conductor?  He does moves like Charlie Callas.  Further, why did they have a tarantula at the sheriff’s office?  I get that is was probably the giant spider, and showed how big the creatures really get, but, it makes no sense.

Hats off to Hugo, died doing the right thing.

Would you go back in that cave?  Knowing there might be a slight slight slight chance there is another giant spider in there?  NWB.  No way, baby.

Watchability: 4 of 5.  The ‘lost in the cave’ plot device grates on me, I wish this had a stronger 3^rd act.  Overall, though, this is one of the best Bert I ever did, if not the best.  Only 1 real effect failing (the attack on the Kingman house) and no gaping plot holes.  A very good ‘giant bug’ movie.

Missing the Riffs: 4 of 5.  This is an episode I like a great deal, but the movie is strong enough to stand alone.  I did miss a few gems, but overall, I didn’t miss the SOL crew.

Experiment 419-The Rebel Set

Tags

Don Sullivan, John Lupton, Rebel Set, Satellite of Love (Mystery Science Theater 3000), TV Stars

“This one is new here.  I haven’t pinched her myself.”

A two-minute sequence opening the film where Sidney (the character actor) scams a shop keep out of $25 was cut for the SOL.  The watch scam, which our lovely but dumb waitress falls for in the ticket exchange sequence, is apparently part of Sidney’s repertoire.  He mentions 12 watches at the coffee shop to Mr. Tucker.

I’m not a big Jazzman, but I do like the sounds of the coffee shop group.

Someone at Club-MST3K, either in the open forum or the episode comments, mentioned that The Beatniks and The Rebel Set should swap titles.  I would agree with that, these guys are more beat than the Beatniks.

Another beauty queen actress, Kathleen (the actor’s wife) Crowley was Miss New Jersey 1949.  Both her, Gregg (the hamola) Palmer, John (the writer) Lupton and the weird beat poet spent most of their career in westerns.  Was this a chance to try something else?

John Lupton was the gunslinger in Jesse James meets Frankenstein’s Daughter.

Ned (Sidney) Glass was one of the bad guys in my all-time favorite movie, Charade.

A lot of darkness in the movie was cut for SOL.  In an extended scene cut for SOL, the Hamola tells his wife this job “It’s not one of those things.”  Makes you wonder what ‘those things’ is, and how many times he HAS taken them.  She wants out of LA so bad, she actually buys her ticket to New York with their rent money.  When we go back to the coffee shop to pick up the tickets, it is strongly implied our ditzy waitress is buying ‘dope’ from a patron.  We never do find out what the ‘other things’ George (Don Sullivan) Leland made the papers for.

Lot of small scenes or shots through the movie are removed, which caused most of the jump cuts the SOL version has.  I don’t know, I find it a little unfair to chop up already poorly edited films and then complain about the editing.  Little details are import in movies, especially with the barely 70 minutes most of these films have to work with.

The ‘waiting’ scene is the only real example of padding in the film.  I can’t believe the SOL cut the rifle shot.  I always wondered why a great shot was needed on this caper.

Also cut: Sidney getting stopped at a roadblock and a scene of the Writer typing, showing us his low e’s.  There is an extend scene after the writer was killed where Mr. Tucker vaguely warns the Hamola and his wife.

If the movie had another 20 minutes or so to work with, they could have spent more time with Mr. Tucker and how his hubris leads to his downfall.  Never assume you are the smartest person in the room, especially if you’re used to being around idiots.

Watchability: 5 of 5.  Solid plot and well-acted.  The extended chase/fight at the end is borderline silly, but the film stands alone.  Another 15-20 minutes would have helped even more.  I highly recommend an unriffed version.

Missing the Riffs:  5 of 5.  This is one of my go-to episodes, good movie, decent jazz, and killer riffs.  And I didn’t miss the SOL crew one bit.