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Spacemutiny

“Can a woman buy a man a drink in your galaxy?”

In honor of this experiment reaching 400 laughs at Club-MST3k, I think this movie deserves an unriffed viewing.  400 laughs makes it the most laughed episode at the club, far and away the most laughed.  I think I would place the episode in my top 50, but probably not my top 25.

Reb (David Ryder) Brown and Cissy (Dr. Lea Jansen) Cameron have been married since 1979.

The credits remind me of the visual from the FVI films the SOL watched, but these are on purpose.

I don’t understand why this movie is ‘introducing’ Cissy Cameron, she has IMDB credits going back to 1971.  She was a regular in a Ted Knight sitcom, back when that meant something.  How can you introduce someone with 17 years of work behind her?

Battlestar Galactica of 1978 and 1980.  I saw both series, I saw the movie in the theaters.  But I can’t say I was a big fan of it.  I much preferred Buck Rogers for my late 1970’s Sci-Fi.  Had no interest in the more recent series.

I don’t know much about South African cinema in the late 1980’s, but this looks more like a ‘fan film’ than a professional job.  A high quality fan film, but it doesn’t even reach TV movie quality in look.

If these were amateurs, I would praise the creativity of setting up the locations.  An office as the bridge? Generic Industrial building (with windows) as the bowels of the ship?  There had to be better choices, right?

Workout leotards and modified fast food uniforms it what the clothes look like.  Ed Wood would be proud.

The SOL cut out a huge chunk of Battlestar Galactica footage, and related ‘looking very concerned about the battle’ shots of the crew.

Kalgan is not a very subtle villain.  I would think there would be some kind of uproar about all the people going missing.

Of the hundreds and hundreds of plot holes and questions raised, and God knows every frame of this film raises new questions, this is the series which really bugs me: Where was the Professor coming from?  Was he and Ryder just out cruising through space?  Were they investigating a possible planet to colonize?  And they clearly know there are habitable planets out there, the Bellarians had to come from somewhere, right?    You get started on these, and it just opens up dozens more.  And these are the questions the first 10 minutes inspire!

John Phillip Law is really acting hard.  You can just tell.

The Corona Borealis is an actual constellation, also known as the Northern Crown.  So the Southern Sun is flying to the Northern Crown.  Maybe that’s symbolism of some sort.

And they are not even consistent about how they use the Battlestar footage.  In the first scenes, it was moving backwards.  Now it is moving forward.

I know Kalgan is the ‘villain’ of the piece, but is he really?  He wants to get everyone off the ship and on to a planet.  I can’t say I approve of his methods, but Commander Jansen (Cameron Mitchell) might be wrong on this on.

Future dancing looks stupider than today dancing.  Hula hoops?  Rings are cool, I mean not cool.

Top Classified Secret!  Doesn’t get much more secreter than that.

Who are they going to call for help?  No, no, can’t ask more questions.  It will just hurt.

Wow, they actually let the Chief Engineer, who is in on the mutiny, in on the plan to stop the mutiny.

Very thankfully, there is no more to the garden ‘love scene’.  Right on the line.

I still don’t get what the whole Bellarian thing is supposed to be about.  I suppose it is vaguely sexy padding, but is so disconnected from the rest of the movie.

The big battle with the pirates runs longer, and reuses footage not only from Battlestar, but from Ryder’s crash at the start of the movie.  This is Republic Serial level of reuse!

Was there no attempt to round up the mutineers after they were identified?  Did they just have a party and, no, can’t ask questions.

Can a fist fight be described as wooden?

This movie is really icky when it tries to be sexy.

So the entire Enforcer staff is both corruptible and incompetent?  Seriously, one guy comes aboard and kills, maims or otherwise disables the entire defense force the Southern Sun had.

Space Bitch!  Kalgan actually says Space Bitch.  It is Rocky Jones After Dark.

Many of the kills in this movie are based on the fact no one seems to react to shots fired and bodies dropping to the floor.

And isn’t his a fight to the death kind of thing for the mutineers?  I mean where can they go after rising up against the Commander?  They are still just stuck on a space, you know what, no more questions.

The SOL cut the Engineer flailing around the floor on fire.  He burns up real good in the full cut.

I don’t think they missed a cliché in this movie.  It is like they had a checklist.

Watchability: 3 of 5.  I’ve changed my mind a dozen times on this already.  What blows my mind is how much the SOL crew didn’t go after in this movie.  When I say this movie makes me think of Ed Wood, that is a good thing.

Missing the Riffs: 3 of 5.  It is one of those movies that doesn’t need the SOL to be enjoyable.  Of course, your mileage may vary.

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