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“I want a Coke, daddy.”

I’m not the biggest Kaiju fan, so take that as you will.

Weird, the dub is in English, but the credits are still in Japanese.

I think what annoys me most about Gamera is the lessons they teach kids.  It is the worst kind of afterschool special, it isn’t telling me to not use drugs, but brush my teeth.  And the later Gamera have twice the annoying kids.  Not just a Kenny and Itchy but annoying duos.  And what kind of security did Japan have that kids wandering into top secret areas is believable.

I remember being taught there was going to be no fish in the sea by the 1980s too.  Remember when that happened?  No fish anymore?  Was really tragic.

Yes, Gamera is the friend of all children.  Annoying troublemaking children.

Is it just me, or is the plot of Gamera vs. Guiron and Gamera vs. Zigra very similar?  Two kids being threatened, space ladies using a monster, Gamera underwater, and space creatures wanting to eat humans?  Any of this familiar to anyone?

Bert I Gordon has better process shots.  I wonder how much Gamera flying footage is reused from movie to movie.

The whole wild man/time travel bit is so bizarre.  Is he eating seaweed or moss?  And there is such an overlong explanation about his clothes; it is the weirdest kind of padding.

Wow, the jet flying scene makes me long for The Starfighters.  And the switch from stock footage to models does not go well.  Metal and plastic look nothing alike.

I’m sorry, the people fighting Zigra need the fish more than the dolphins.

Duty and honor.  Duty and honor and bikini hitchhikers.

Kids are so numb to mass murder and destruction.

The alien girl chases those kids like she’s letting them win at hide and seek.

We’re never told who Loralee Barrett is and why the reporters would know her.

We get a Gamera rescue, a fight Gamera loses and must heal from, and a final fight Gamera wins.

Maybe it is just the copy I’m watching but the undersea sequences could fit in with The Slime People.

Zigra is one of the best looking Gamera ‘villains’.

The ‘moon jeep’ was one of the cheapest effects I’ve ever seen.

Most of the cuts for the SOL are just scene shortening, nothing plot wise taken out, just the excess.  The ending ‘clip show’ was not in this version.

“The other planets of the world.”  What?

Ok, Zigra can communicate unlike other Monsters (it is an alien life, not an atomic monster after all), but can only use a melee combat?  I would hope an intelligent life form could beat a turtle.

I sincerely hope this is not a faithful translation.

It’s “Then he died of suffocation” not “on vacation”.

And just when it can’t get weirder, Gamera plays his own theme song on the back of his dying foe.

Watchability: 2 of 5.  Better than vs. Guiron, but that’s not saying much.  One of the most random films in a very random series.

Missing the Riffs: 2 of 5.  Not completely unbearable without the SOL crew, but I still wouldn’t recommend it.